Life As I Had Imagined It
by DiamondGamer
Summary: The story follows a young Cheryl/Heather growing up prior and after the assault in Portland and her struggle to fit in and discover herself. No pairings.
1. Vigilance (Prologue)

Cheryl was barely three, yet smart enough to take hints and comprehend situations when they're bad and involve her.

One night, Harry had brought a woman home. They were laughing and fondly conversing as they staggered through the front door, obviously in a drunken state, and a sleepless Cheryl had slipped out of her warm little room. It was boring to stay with a babysitter that no longer had sufficient energy to pay attention to her and had fallen into a deep slumber, comfortably sprawled on the carpeted floor.

For the few seconds that Harry and the woman were in sight, Cheryl could only observe as the two exchanged unnecessarily exaggerated compliments. She did not know what they meant, but if there was someone else in the house - save for Harry, Cheryl, and the babysitter - it meant trouble. It didn't matter whether she was the one causing it or not, it was trouble, and the girl didn't like that he spoke to the lady as lovingly as he had talked to _her_.

"My, you're as lovely as the setting sun," He said, and the stranger pretended to be flustered by the comment. "Bet you'd look even better i- _Cheryl_! Oh, god, why aren't you in bed?" The two of them immediately turned to stare at her, bewildered. "I thought Esther put her to sleep. I'm so sorry." He didn't even whisper. The woman, a charming blonde, shrugged her shoulders dismissively.

Cheryl stared back. "Daddy, who is that?" She folded her arms, adamant on knowing the answer instead of getting shooed back to sleep. For a 3-year old, she had a rather extensive vocabulary and a variety of gestures copied from adults, as she barely spent any time around peers.

"Honey," He started, glancing over at both of them. At that point, both of them were in suspense as to whom the endearing term was directed to. "This is Rose. She's my new... friend. Rose, meet my daughter." A gentle smile graced his features, and he beckoned Cheryl to come closer and have a proper introduction with the other female. It just didn't work.

Slightly exasperated, Rose knelt down, locking eyes with the girl, who stared, and stared hard, as if willing to intimidate the woman into leaving. "Well, hello, Cheryl. I've heard a lot about you! Such a clever young girl. You see, from now on, you'll see me often, okay? I hope you don't mind. We can be friends!"

Her cheeriness only annoyed her further. "Dad is my only friend," She retorted gloomily. "And I'm dad's only friend. He told me so."

"Cheryl, no. What have I taught you about being nice?" Harry said sternly. "You should say sorry. Otherwise, you're being impolite."

She didn't argue. Nor did she concede to the request. Silently, she trotted back to her little room, carefully climbed up on the bed and crawled under the sheets. Soft murmurs were heard from behind the door as she desperately tried to sleep. Maybe it will be different the next day - she will wake up, and her dad will wish her a good morning. They'll have breakfast and then play together. There will be only the two of them.

Well, was she _wrong_.


	2. Estrangement

As imagined, Rose stayed. She never left that night, nor did she leave the next day. Nor the next day, and that for at least a year during their stay in Portland. Rose was nice, no denying, and tried to be a maternal figure despite not really being asked to, but Cheryl just never grew to like her, not as a friend, much less as a mother or anything even closely related to that, and most of the time, she just refused to accept her presence and ignored her.

Cheryl wasn't very good at making friends back then - mostly because she hadn't gone to a nursery. Her short-time babysitters had been tasked with teaching her how to read and write if Harry didn't have enough free time to do so. Some were nice and did it with pleasure, others were college students looking to kill time and earn easy money. Unfortunately for them, Cheryl was a tattletale. If one dared to lie about a productive day, Cheryl would spill out the details and get them fired immediately. As she grew, she found she liked doing that.

Tattletale. It was a little label fondly given by her father after every lazy babysitter, and she didn't like it.

Her fourth birthday was one of her fondest memories of the early childhood, consisting of about 5 people. It was a small gathering, pleasant, and even though she didn't receive anything too expensive or exciting, it was still something, and she held every bit close.

Her father had bought her a floral-themed dress, which she wasn't really sure she liked. After the party, she had worn it once, smiled, and told Harry that it was the best present ever. The light in his eyes was uplifting, but the appearance of that dress was... not.

Rose, at that point, had brought a cute little necklace to match the dress. It was obvious that they had planned this out, but Cheryl merely told her it was pretty, then never wore it again after the party. It didn't look bad, but it didn't fit nicely with any of her other clothes.

There were 2 other kids which were nowhere near her age - a kind girl named Elle, whom Cheryl had met at the playground, and the spunky James, who was actually the paperboy that had attended just to be polite. They were both about 10, both sociable and friendly, and Cheryl liked them a lot. It was then when she had learned of proper and truly insulting labels, as they had told her everything.

Elle the Blabbermouth - that's what they had called her at school, apparently. _School_. The very word fascinated young Cheryl, who had listened to her rant and wail about the struggles of studying, mean students, irritable teachers, and soaked in everything, even though both of them knew she didn't understand a thing. Even Cheryl was aware that the other didn't quite consider her a friend, but merely needed to take a weight off her chest.

James.. he didn't even go to school, as he was too poor to do so and had to provide for his family. Needless to say, that wasn't taken as an act of courage and bravery. Kids that once were envious that he didn't have to go to school now laughed behind his back about the lack of education. Cheryl had actually started crying the night after she was told that information, mostly in disbelief of how people could be so cruel. Years after this, Harry had told her she was sobbing hysterically about 'poor James' until James himself had to come to calm her down. He was no longer invited over to the Masons' afterwards.

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you," The group of people sang cheerily, and Cheryl eagerly waited for the last line. "Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday, dear Cheryl." She braced herself. "Happy Birthday to you!" As soon as they finished, she furiously blew out the candles and proudly gazed at the rising smoke, happy that she'd blown all of them on the first try. It was followed by enthusiastic clapping and a bit of cheering.

Elle handed her a small box with a ribbon. "It's not much, but I hope you like it." She said, smiling gently. Cheryl hurriedly ripped the wrapper off and examined the box before taking off the carton lid. Inside was a tiny plastic doll with short brown hair and a striking resemblance to the birthday girl, who grinned in return and gave Elle a tight hug.

James' present was a personalized notebook, with an airy design featuring a delicate pen-and-ink hummingbird hovering amid a tumble of purple blooms on the cover. Cheryl was equally delighted, albeit slightly worried when she found out that cost him a big part of his personal savings. "Don't worry about it," He laughed it off. "This could be your journal. Or your diary. You can write very personal things there and hide them from other people."

It didn't take long to clean up after the guests had left, though Cheryl didn't stay in the living room to help out (no one had asked her to, even though she usually offered her aid), instead opting to go to her room and examine the gifts properly.

She took great interest in the doll for a while and played with it before getting bored, and barely touched the notebook, which she deemed too special for her to write in it right away. Leaving both of them by the bed, she merrily skipped out the room, stopping in her tracks upon hearing Harry and Rose speak, seemingly not noticing her presence.

"You know I want to, but I'm worried Cherry won't take it well," Harry seemed to be pleading with the woman, who looked distraught. He rarely ever called her Cherry in front of other people. "She's already upset that you've moved in with us-"

"Harry, you know I love Cheryl as much as you do, but I'm tired. How long will this have to last? It's been long enough. Don't you love me?"

It was just then that Cheryl understood that it was marriage they were talking about, albeit the very concept of it had been a bit confusing back then. Pursing her lips, she patiently waited for her father's answer on the matter. While he wasn't looking directly at her, she had a feeling he was aware of her spying on the two of them.

"I do love you," He seemed hurt that she had to use that very question to get her point across. Finally, he glanced over at Cheryl, who promptly hid. Rose didn't follow his gaze. "But I love my daughter more. Please understand me, Rose, it's not your fault."

She just stood there in silence, mulling over his words. Finally, she gave him a solemn nod. "I understand. But I just cannot keep on like this, you know? I'm sorry. I can't. I just hope your daughter is happy, then."

The next few days were as normal, and neither of them mentioned the topic. Yet again, Cheryl could feel the other female slowly drifting away from their little family, and knew very well she was not going to be a part of it anymore soon enough. There was just a bit more debating which she had pretended not to hear, which involved alternatives and talk-it-out sessions, though in the end, Rose packed her things.

"Goodbye, Rose," Cheryl told her once they had begun saying their goodbyes. Neither Harry nor she knew where the woman was going, anyway. In the last minute as Rose was dragging her suitcase out the door, she added: "I'll miss you."

Whether this was really true or not, she didn't know, but it certainly felt odd for them to be separated after such a long time. For a second after she had said those three simple words, Cheryl saw her eyes light up a bit.

* * *

><p>"Now it's just the two of us," Harry informed her with a grin as they were going back home after grocery shopping. Cheryl looked up, studying his expression, and deduced that he isn't as happy as he's making himself out to be. "I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to spend as much time with you, though. Sorry, honeybun. Is that alright with you?"<p>

Cheryl let out a long sigh of resignation, but didn't say anything.

"In fact, you should be in kindergarten right now." She didn't like this word. "It's going to be way more fun than leaving you with a babysitter, don't you think? You'll get to make new friends and have much more fun. It's not appropriate for you to be at home all the time!"

She didn't protest. Perhaps it was for the best, anyway. The two came home and Harry immediately began making phone calls while Cheryl absent-mindedly toyed with some of the food they had brought home while trying to predict what dinner would be today. Just something distracting.


End file.
